I felt like it was time to have a site separate from my eating disorder recovery site to discuss things other than, well – eating disorder recovery. And I spent roughly FOREVER dragging my feet on this. Maybe going through a divorce has made me terrified to commit to anything. ever. again. Or maybe I am just busy raising 4 kids. But either way I felt I had to come to terms with why I wanted to write for a living.
I have been writing for a while now – in my room as a child, horrible poetry as a moody preteen, even moodier journal entries as a dramatic teenager, volumes of journal entries as an adult, lists – so many lists – life goals, gratitude lists, grocery lists, college term papers on the depth of Michael Corleone’s character in The Godfather saga and an exceptional (if I do say so myself) and prophetic college essay on why Britney Spears’ career wouldn’t have longevity and why she was damaging to young girls (Rolling Stone never picked that one up – bet they are kicking themselves now). And while sometimes I wrote those stories or essays because they were assignments, mostly it was because I needed to write. Just in the same way that I need to be in or near water on a daily basis (like Daryl Hannah in Splash but with less of a romantic comedy feeling), I have to write everyday.
The only job I really actually wanted to have as an adult was to be a writer. But it seemed as elusive as growing up to be a trapeze artist or CIA agent. And then I got married and had 1, 2, 3 … 4 children in a very short period of time and the only thing I was writing regularly then was which twin had nursed on which breast last and how many times had they gone to the bathroom. And all of that is okay – I wouldn’t change those years because they’ve brought me to this point and most importantly they brought me 4 beautiful children. But I did feel like something was missing during those years, I wasn’t writing for the sheer enjoyment for writing any more. After my breakthrough with my eating disorder, I started What’s Eating Natalie to offer others support and to have a place to hold myself accountable. Choosing recovery wasn’t just about saving my life, it was about deciding not to waste any more of my life wishing I could do the things I’d always dreamed about. I wanted to write for a living because while I may be a mother, daughter, sister, friend etc, what I *do* is write. And I have been getting paid to write for a couple of years now – I just wasn’t able to give that fact the respect it deserved!
Whether you are recovering from an addiction or not, I think everyone can relate to the struggle of finding out what you are meant to do in life. The best advice I can give is that when you choose to “live your truth” (this is a line from my sponsor and probably Oprah), doors start to open up, things start to fall into place and the whole universe seems to be rooting for you.
This site will mainly be a landing site for the writing I am doing across the internet, but also for more of my (unsolicited) advice on how do find your path and live your truth. Enjoy and thank you for reading.