St. Patrick’s Day Rant

St. Patrick's Day Rant


Saunters up to mic confidently, dressed in suit and tie (irrelevant), double taps mic.

St. Patrick’s Day is just a few days away which means I am frantically preparing. Nope, not by loading up on Guinness and green food coloring. Instead I have been frantically making sure all 4 kids have something green to wear, making sure my eldest’s leprechaun trap is ready to be turned in to her teacher on Friday and thanking my lucky stars that my children will be at their father’s house for the big day. Not because I plan on indulging in all things Irish, but because I refuse to participate in what has become another excuse to buy children gifts and candy.

While St. Patrick’s Day is a national holiday in Ireland, it’s still celebrated in the United States with parades in cities like Chicago and New York with large Irish-American populations. But let’s be honest, St. Patrick’s Day is typically an excuse for ADULTS to drink ridiculous amounts of beer and if they can stomach it, eat corn beef and cabbage. When exactly did St. Patrick’s Day become yet another kid-centered holiday!? Don’t get me wrong, I love a holiday (Christmas is my favorite. My belief in Santa will not wane), but when did every holiday become toy and candy binges for children (Read Kate’s thoughts on Valentine’s Day at The Guavalicious Life)?!

I remember when my eldest, now 8, was in preschool and she first started going on and on about Leprechaun Day (um, it’s called St. Patrick’s Day kiddo) and how the leprechaun would visit their class while they were at home the night before and “make mischief” and “leave presents.” (Presents?!) And the best part, my dearest daughter told me that her teachers told her the leprechaun would do the same at our home… ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! (Do NOT send me any hate mail, I love teachers. We have been blessed with one amazing teacher after another over the years and I know we are very lucky for that). And this was not a one time occurrence, almost every teacher since that first one has reiterated this belief. Where did this idea come from?! What happen to just wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day – which just so happens to be my only memory of this holiday from childhood.

Dramatically removes mic from stand for emphasis.

So now that I have just taken a deep sigh of relief after 2 birthdays in October, Halloween, Christmas, 2 more birthdays in January and Valentine’s Day, you’re telling me I am expected to make it look like a f*cking leprechaun came into my home, made a mess and left presents. Now if memory serves, leprechauns are indeed into mischief-making, but I do not belief they are in the habit of bringing new toys to children (the big guy in red has the market cornered on that task, and he doesn’t make a mess when he delivers gifts).

I love my children, but the idea that I am supposed to shower them with gifts on another retail-driven holiday is utterly ridiculous. I am boycotting… just as soon as I finish finding enough green ribbon for hair bows.

Drops mic.

Lubrano Out.


One thought on “St. Patrick’s Day Rant

  1. Pingback: Holidays Out, Cleaning In | Natalie Lubrano

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